I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the day after is always just damage control
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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