Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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