you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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