Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
