Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
