I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
