Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
