Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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