I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
