You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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