oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
