I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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