you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
