My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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