Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize