and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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