The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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