I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
