Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
