once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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