I'm lost and stupid without you.
Can Purell be used as lube?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize