I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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