ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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