I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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