I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA