I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you made out with another girl for some wings
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.