I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone