No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country