Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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