the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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