i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
