Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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