I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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