My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Randomize
