Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
