I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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