He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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