Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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