We're facebook friends in real life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
