Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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