then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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