Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
