Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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