is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
