It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
