They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
