I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
