We won't sleep together?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
