I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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