I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize