just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
