Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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