So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Randomize
