I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
