I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
