Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize