Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
what day is it and did you see me today?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
